Super Smash Brothers Melee: Everything Explained
by Cybat
Summary: This fic actually only explains SSBM's adventure mode; everything else was too complicated. Mario once again braves the challenges that Master Hand puts forth for him, and makes new friends! Now complete! r&r!
1. Prologue

(A/N: Well, here I am again, trying to explain Super Smash Brother Melee. It is more difficult this time, since classic mode is random. Therefore, I will ignore it…mostly (you'll see). It will not be one long chapter like my first fic because, well, it was too long. Also, I will not have any html tags this time, so that will also help.

Also, and I can't stress this enough apparently, it would really help you if you read my first three fics, and it would really help me if you reviewed them. 

And now, without any further ado…)

Super Smash Brothers Melee (Adventure Mode): Everything Explained

Prologue

Master Hand watched as the smashers and toys jumped out of the building. He was left with the burden of making sure that his ex-wife, Mistress, paid for her attempted takeover of the toy dimension. This involved more than he had originally intended, since Mistress was very eager to teleport away from the fortress that was about to self-destruct. He was forced to hold her in place and in this dimension. Of course, if he did that, he would end up sacrificing himself, and he wasn't too keen on that idea. He also knew that he couldn't let the smashers down; they had done so much for him.

Yes, the smashers. They had gotten off to a bad start, but Master Hand thought that their latest experience had really brought them together. Too bad he was about to die…or was he?

He glanced anxiously at the computer readout. 10 seconds until self-destruct. Mistress was shrieking and struggling, but Master Hand would not let go. 

Master Hand made a quick decision. He threw Mistress upward, and before she could react, she was knocked out. Master Hand tossed Mistress aside and opened a portal. As he was leaving, he saw Mario directing the last toy out of the building. He smiled to himself at the thought of being able to see them again. He slipped into the portal just as the fortress exploded.

He emerged from the portal only barely singed. Unfortunately, he had not taken time to define a destination, so it seemed that his subconscious took him to the most convenient dimension, which happened to be a very gloomy, dark one.

"Welcome, Master Hand." A deep, booming voice resonated behind him as he tried to determine his situation. "I've been expecting you."

"Wh-what do you mean? Who are you?" Master Hand turned around, and he could just barely make out a large black shadow against the black surroundings.

"I knew your subconscious would lead you here. The same thing happened to others in your family." The voice continued without heeding Master Hand's question.

"I said, WHO ARE YOU?" Master Hand shouted angrily, rocketing forward at the shadow.

"Please." The shadow replied with a chuckle. "We got your wife and son, and now we will have you."

With that, a gray humanoid appeared by the shadow's side, and it charged forward at Master Hand. Master Hand scowled and swatted it away. Soon, though, many more appeared, looking less and less humanoid. Master Hand was quickly overwhelmed, and soon the amorphous attackers swarmed over Master Hand. His screams could be heard miles away, if there were anyone there. The shadow smiled.

John eagerly picked up his Mario action figure. He was older now and didn't play with action figures much. However, he still kept his favorite toy on his desk, and he still checked his chest every night for uninvited gloves. He would never forget that day, three years ago, when his most beloved action figure came to life and defeated a giant talking glove. He and his friends were there the entire time, cheering Mario on and learning about Master Hand's complex origin. Now, though, John had his friends over again and they were talking feverishly in John's room, over the Mario music.

"John, do you think he'll come to life again?" John's best friend Fred asked in a whisper.

"I don't know. I hope so." John replied, also whispering.

"I brought my favorite action figure! Maybe they'll fight!" one of the boys laughed.

"What's your favorite?" John asked.

"Bowser."

"Ooh…that would be dramatic! Mario versus Bowser!" another boy grinned.

"I can't make him come to life whenever I-"

"Boys! Dinner!" John's mom shouted from downstairs. All of the boys rushed downstairs as fast as they could, but John stayed a moment. He stared at Mario and at the Bowser that the boy had left. Suddenly, they both started glowing, and then they started moving.

"I-hey! Where am I?" Mario shouted, then immediately covered his mouth. He had appeared right in the middle of saying something to himself without using his fake accent.

"I've been wondering the same thing, plumber." Bowser roared. Mario gasped and whirled around. "What area you doinga here?"

"Um, excuse me…" John tried to cut in.

"You fool! How would I know? But I do know that I'm going to destroy you now!"

"You anda what army?"

"Excuse me!" John shouted. Both toys turned to look at him, and Mario recognized him immediately.

"John?"

"What?" Bowser roared.

"That's right, it's me. One of my friends brought their Bowser toy along."

"Toy?" Bowser snarled.

"What am I doing here? The last time I ended up here, I saw Master Hand, but he's dead!"

"There, my friend, you are mistaken." A new voice emerged from thin air. It sounded familiar, but darker and even more evil. "I am quite well, thank you."

"What?" Mario shouted. Bowser, also recognizing the new figure, roared.

"Master Hand, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to take you two." The glove replied calmly.

"John, come downstairs-" John's mother and his friends stood in the doorway and gasped. 

"Ah, I see my crowd is here again." Master Hand smiled. "Well, come on, let's go."

"Wait just a minute! You're not taking me anywhere!" Bowser growled.

"Mea either!" Mario put in.

"Who said you had a choice?" Master Hand asked, and rocketed forward. He grabbed Mario and Bowser and flung them into a portal behind him. "Come on, boys."

The boys obediently walked into the portal, with more fear this time. Master Hand waited for the last boy to go in, and disappeared. John's mother fainted.


	2. Arrival

Chapter 1: Arrival

Well, here I am again, on Master Hand's platform. This time, though, I know what to expect. I also know that Master Hand is not only on our side, but he's also dead. This is extremely puzzling. At any rate, if I remember correctly, this is the part when people start coming in and we introduce each other…but where did Bowser go?

"Mario, the rules will be a bit different this time." Master Hand starts to say.

"Oh? Howa so?" I ask

"I'll explain when everyone else gets here. Ah, here they come!"

And, without fancy entrances this time, the smashers all appear in a flash of light…wait! What the-

"Peach? What are-a you doing here?"

"Zelda! You can't be here!" Link shouts to someone I don't recognize. The name Zelda sounds familiar, though.

"I don't know why I'm here, Mario! I just appeared here! Why do you ask?" Sigh.

"I don't want you going off on adventures without me again, Link!" the other girl shouts, and Link probably has the same reaction I do.

"Mario! I'm going to crush you this time!"

Oh, there's Bowser.

"All right, everyone! There are some new people this time, so let's go around and introduce ourselves. Mario, you start."

"OK. I'ma Mario and I beat upa Bowser all the time. I savea Peach from him and playa tennis, golf, anda racing. I also geta lost in mansions."

Luigi isn't here, so no one else understands. Oh well. Speaking of Luigi, I wonder if he'll sneak into this tournament like he did the last one.

"By the waya, Master Hand, you were ona our side beforea. What happened?"

"None of your business, fool! Continue!"

So, all of the smashers introduce themselves, and we all wait to hear from the new arrivals: Peach, Zelda, Bowser and…um…

"We're the Ice Climbers!" they shout together.

"I'm Nana!"

"I'm Popo! Together we climb mountains and kill polar bears and topis! We don't save anybody, as far as I know, but we have cool hammers!"

"OK…My name is Peach and I am the princess of Mushroom Kingdom. In the past, I have been kidnapped a lot by Bowser, but now I can fight for myself!"

I just stare at her in disbelief. How does she always manage to get herself into trouble! I mean, Bowser's practically right next to her!

"I am Princess Zelda of Hyrule."

Of course! Link's girlfriend. I remember now.

"I am the seventh sage and I hold the Triforce of Wisdom."

"Oh, well that helps us a lot!" Captain Falcon taunts.

"The Triforce is a…very powerful…thing." Ness explains. "Zelda's mind is hard to read! There's all sorts of magical stuff!"

Bowser shakes his head impatiently. "I am Bowser, king of the Koopas! I kidnap Peacha and destroy Mario!"

"Yeah, right!" I retort. The others laugh.

"Don't laugh at me!" Bowser roars, preparing to attack.

"Stop!" Master Hand shouts. "Now that we're all introduced, go away! You know what to do!"

They do? Eh…whatever. They did last time, I guess. I still don't know what to do, though.

"So, Master Hand, what do I have to do this time?" I ask, switching to my normal voice.

"Do what the announcer tells you." He answers. "Sometimes there'll be a level you have to go through before you fight people. And there are new items. Here's the list."

I stare at it. It's about twice as long as the other one. "You certainly did a lot more research this time." I remark. "But I would still like to know why you're not dead."

"I'm not telling!" he shouts, and I notice a black streak go across his fist. I ignore it.

"Also you get a new move. In addition to your Super Jump Punch, Mario Tornado and fireball, you get to use your cape, to deflect projectiles and turn enemies around. And here's a sheet explaining what you can do with your shield."

I take one look at it and sigh. "This is way too complicated. Besides, I won't even need it!"

Master Hand laughs. "We'll see about that. Now go!"

"Where's my warp pipe?"

"Use this portal…it saves time."

"Whatever."

"Well, go!"

"Wait! I'm still reading the item list!"

"Whatever. You'll figure it out. Now GO!"

I take a brief glance at the last item-Lip's Stick? I turn to Master Hand, but he is gone. I sigh, and walk into the portal.


	3. The Tournament Begins

Chapter 2: The Tournament Begins

I emerge from the portal in a surprisingly familiar scenario. I am standing on a warp pipe and I see blocks and Goombas in the distance! Master Hand sure went all out this time.

As I advance, I jump on the Goombas until I see Koopas. Hmm…I bet those shells aren't any more friendly…but I'm stronger. I kick the Koopa, pick up his shell, and toss it at a group of Goombas. As expected, they fly away. I continue through the level, without much incident, until I get to a large platform with a mushroom on the ground. Suddenly, Yoshis start appearing. I grin. If this is anything like the Yoshi Team of the last tournament, I should have no problems.

"Mario! This is far enough!" a Yoshi shouts. I laugh and do my Tornado, clearing it and two others away. That and my Super Jump Punch is enough to beat this level-huh? Shouldn't this level be ending?

Sigh…I guess I have to keep going. I jump off the platform and, sure enough, more Goombas and Koopas confront me. They are still second nature to me and I defeat them or avoid them with no problem. I am impressed by the scenery; it feels just like the good old days. However, I run past a flag that Toad is holding, and a portal appears.

I end up on what appears to be Peach's castle…and then, Peach and another Mario come to challenge me. Normally I'd consider this odd, but I'm used to it. 

"You'rea finished, Mario!" my counterpart taunts.

"Youa wish!" I reply.

"Take this, Mario!" Peach shouts, swinging a golf club at me. Ouch. Whatever…she asked for it.

I smash her, and this time, my powerful punch is accentuated by setting the target on fire. Interesting.

"How darea you!" Mario shouts. I sigh and swing my cape. Sure enough, the other Mario does his smash hit-facing the wrong way! This could get interesting. I grab Mario, punch him a few times, spin him around, and fling him away. All of a sudden, I see a large, black object send Mario flying to his doom. However, Peach just hit me in the back of the head with a vegetable. Oh, I get it. Like from that old game where we threw vegetables…I wonder if she can float, too.

Anyway, this black object is getting closer, and soon I recognize it! It's a Bullet Bill, except it's huge! And it's heading right for the castle! Hmm…I don't think I could defeat this Bill by jumping on it like I could in the past, so I'll just move out of the way. A switch appears on the ground that makes a green "?" box appear, and a warp star pops out of the block when I hit it. Peach eagerly floats (ha! I was right!) toward the block and picks up the warp star. At the same time, the Bill crashes into the side of the castle. Peach flies around for a few seconds and lands right in front of the Bill, which has just begun to spontaneously combust or something. I've never seen such a gratuitously large explosion!

Anyway, Peach flies away rather quickly, and the announcer shouts, "Game!" Hmm…wasn't it "Game set" last time? Oh well. A portal appears to take me to the next level.

As I step out of the portal, I hear an irritating rap playing in the background, and see two tiny DKs challenging me. Oh boy, what fun. 

"Me crush Mario!"

"Me too!"

"No, me two! You one!"

"Huh?"

All right…I've had about enough of this level. A Mario Tornado sends them flying, and a few well-timed smash hits keep them away. They do manage to smack me a few times, but nothing serious. After all, DK's power lies in his size. One spinning down kick sends both away, and a portal takes me to…another DK level. 

This time, giant DK is two platforms away from me. Hmm…it seems to me that the last time I had to fight giant DK, I had two partners. Oh well. He says nothing but jumps at me, and I follow, to the middle platform. Smash hits seem to be a bit stronger now against giants, so I may have a chance. I knock him over to the third platform, and I follow, preparing to smash him away. He gets the better of me, though, and kicks me backwards into the aby-What?

How did I get way down here at the first platform? My Super Jump Punch sends me back up, but…oh, I see. It's above a river. How obnoxious.

Anyway, he's winding up to punch me, so I jump right in front of him and swing my cape. He spins around, punches the air, and flies away afire thanks to my new smash hit. He gets back, of course, but this is a lot easier than last time. I jump and swing my fist in midair, and it sends him flying impressively far. As he comes back, I grab him. I punch him, throw him straight up into the air, Super Jump Punch, and as I land, I headbutt him into the air. I jump, kick, and he lands on the first platform. 

"Ow." DK comments.

I ignore DK's verbal skills and jump onto the platform with him. He tries to headbutt me into the ground, but my smash hit is faster. He falls into the water and is carried downstream.

"Game!"

Hmm…this doesn't seem too hard. I enter the portal, eager for my next challenge.


	4. An A-maze-ing Experience

Chapter 3: An A-maze-ing Experience

(A/N: Yes, the title's corny. Deal with it)

As I step out of the portal, I realize that I have already lost all chance of fighting on familiar territory. With Peach, DK, Yoshi, and myself, of course, out of the way, I run out of familiar areas…well, there's always Bowser, I guess, and Luigi will probably show up. 

Oh well. I emerge from the portal into what appears to be a cave. There's not much to it, though, I just run forward and-

Wow.

Some things that strongly resemble mummies are standing on a platform in front of me. I jump at them, but one of them grabs me. It hurts a bit, but I recover, and smash all three of them away. They react to my attacks similarly to the Goombas and Koopas did. 

I continue on, and I come to another area. Following the path, I encounter more mummies and then some octopi that shoot rocks at me, or something. I just Mario Tornado it out of the way and continue.

Suddenly, a blob-like thing falls from the sky and eats me. Or something.

Anyway, it spits me out, leaving me with a bit more damage, but I continue. I come to a fork in the road and choose up. I fight through some more creatures and run into a room with a sword in the middle. Then, the sword disappears and I am somehow teleported to a black area, and Link appears. 

"Hi, Link. What werea thosea mummies?"

Link, however, ignores me, and swings his sword. Hmph. At least last time he taunted me.

Fine with me, I'll just go beat him up. I do so without much trouble, and I am teleported back to the maze room. The sword is gone. I turn around and go down at the fork, fight some more thingies, and see another room with a sword. Lo and behold, I am teleported away and I fight another Link.

As my percentage climbs these fights become more of a challenge but this isn't too bad. I deal with Link, and continue. It seems that I'm looking for a room without a sword in the middle.

After quite a bit of uninteresting exploring, getting beaten up by mummies, octopi, blobs, Links, traps, and lava, I finally find a room that doesn't have a sword! Instead, it has some sort of floating triangle thing. I think suddenly of Zelda's mentioning of something that had to do with a triangle. Tri-something.

Anyway, when I run into this room, a portal appears and I am finally taken out of the maze.

I appear in some sort of temple, and I see Princess Zelda preparing to fight. This should be interesting.

I run up to her, and she hits me with some sort of electricity. What the-

As I fly up into the air, she causes the air in front of her to combust, setting me on fire as well.

Wow…and I thought Ness's moves didn't make any sense.

I launch a fireball at her, but a large bluish polyhedron surrounds her and deflects the fireball. It reminds me of Fox's reflector thingy, but much more ornate. In any case, I rush away (this area is huge!) to regroup. Suddenly, her body starts to sparkle and a ninja appears in her place.

I didn't think we were allowed to teleport away from the battle and send someone else in our place! She can't-

Whoa…this ninja is fast! She (he?) ran all the way over to me and kicked me. Then, s/he did a crazy breakdancing move that sent me flying. As I came to retaliate, she threw a slew of barely visible darts at me. This is not going well.

I finally jump up to get a hit on her (I'll just call it a her; presumably it is still Zelda) when she gets a whip out of nowhere and smacks me with it. Then, she stands upright and crouches suddenly, which somehow sends me flying into the air to my death. Whatever…physics never applied to this tournament anyway.

As I come back in my invincible state, the ninja changes back to Zelda. Interesting. I give her no quarter this time, though. I smash up, jump and flip kick, Super Jump Punch. As she prepares to land, I charge up my smash hit, and release it just in time to send her flying. Unfortunately, this level is so huge that it doesn't matter too much, but it's a start. 

She retreats to the lower part of the level (arrgh! This level is SO BIG!) and transforms back. As I follow, she pulls out her whip again and cracks it. I land next to her, and she does some sort of explosion and disappears, only to reappear above me. I am sent flying with her, aflame. I've had enough of this.

"You'rea going down!" I shout angrily. Not that I expected her to answer, which she didn't. It just made me feel better.

I smash her up, and she bounces off of the wall above us. I wait for her to land by charging up my down-smash. When she lands, I release it, and send her flying. Her double jump and explosion thingy are enough to get her back this time, but after I punch her a few times then smash again, she flies away for good.

Whew…that was more trouble than I expected. That Zelda sure packs a punch…and her ninja alias is so fast! Oh well, I wonder what's next.

(A/N: Can you tell how much I hate that temple level? It's so BIG!)


	5. Four More Stages

Chapter 4: Battle on Brinstar

The portal brings me to an all-too-familiar dark level with yellow acid below. Sure enough, Samus appears to challenge me.

"Hey, Samus! Haven't seen you in a while!"

Not even Samus answered me. This is getting suspicious. Could it be that I'm not fighting the action figures at all, just some random other-dimensional version of them? And if so, why?

In any case, Samus doesn't pose much of a challenge. Her new missile attack is irritating, but of course my cape easily averts that threat, along with her regular energy ball. Her screw is more interesting, but still not too painful, and the acid is just as unforgiving as ever. I got an interesting item, though. It was like the beam sword, but shorter, and it elongated when I swung it. It was interesting, but an unnecessary change, in my opinion.

In any case, after beating Samus, I hear a shrill alarm sound. I am teleported to another area, and it seems like there's nowhere to go but up. I jump up a lot, and encounter no real difficulties along the way. Sometimes, a platform is too small and I miss it, but nothing major. I clear the level without realizing what I had accomplished, until after I enter the portal I hear a loud explosion behind me. That seems like an unnecessary effect. I idly wonder if Samus-if it was Samus-was OK.

When I come out of the portal I find myself once again in front of a tree with a face, with Kirby challenging me. I notice briefly a bunch of blocks on either side of me before Kirby charges. I am about to dodge, when he turns into a fireball and knocks me over! What the-

As I get up, I see a mushroom traversing the level behind him. I quickly jump over him and pick it up. But I shrink instead of growing! Now Kirby is about my size.

Before he sucks me up to take my power, I smash him. He flies away, and I shoot a fireball for good measure. He moves out of the way, but it hits a block that has a bomb on it. The result is a huge explosion that sends Kirby flying easily. 

Suddenly, three Kirbys appear: one with DK's ability, one with Falcon's, and one with Yoshi's, judging by their headgear. Anyway, the battle is similar to the Kirby Team of the last tournament, with a few abilities I didn't recognize. I wasted no time trying to identify them, though; I just smashed them all away easily. 

I'm not done yet with this level, though. A giant Kirby appears on the platform above me, and so does a Metal Cap. I react too slowly, and Kirby picks it up. Hmm…a giant, metal Kirby. What fun.

I Super Jump Punch and Mario Tornado, and then Kirby Final Cutters to send me away. He then pulls out a tiny hammer and smacks me with it. This is new, but I pay no attention. He sucks me up and launches a fireball, but I use my cape and it hits him instead. Then, I smash up and jump, and flip kick him. His damage is climbing, and I figure a smash or two should do him in. Just then, a Super Scope appears. Ha. Never mind.

I stand still and charge it up, as Kirby lumbers forward, being the huge, slow puffball that he is at the moment. Just as he reaches out to punch me, I release the blast and send him flying. Finally, the portal appears, and I go to the next area.

I find myself now aboard the Great Fox, facing down Fox. Hmm…if I remember the last tournament correctly, Fox is damn annoying to kill. As soon as the battle starts, a cloaking device appears, and I grab it eagerly. This should tip the advantage in my favor.

A bewildered Fox wanders the stage as I smash and Tornado him. Eventually, the device wears off, just as he reaches forward, grabs me, punches me, and slams me into the ground. I retaliate with a throw of my own, backward. His Fire Fox thing, or whatever, is barely sufficient to save him, but my down-smash finishes him.

Just then, I hear voices. They seem to be coming from the air. I look up, and three Arwings are flying toward me. They're probably Fox's friends. Sure enough, Fox appears again, wearing red this time, and immediately I am attacked by laser fire. Luckily, Fox's friends seem to be pretty stupid; they are also hitting Fox. I manage to force a few smashes through the laser fire, and that is quite sufficient to kill him. I eagerly enter the portal.

Now, I find myself on a green field with a familiar red-and-white ball in the middle. Sure enough, three Pikachus appear. Oh boy, what fun. Another team. This time, though, a Pokeball appears almost immediately. I grab and throw it, and a letter-like Pokemon appears. Soon, a storm of them follows, and eliminates three or four mice. The screen behind me says that eight remain. Isn't that nice. Another Pokeball appears, this one yielding a plantlike thing that shoots leaves at the rodents. Before I can even think about smashing, _another_ ball appears. The Pokemon inside this time is a dramatic fiery multi-colored bird that flies into the air and sends a HUGE blast of fire down onto the remaining Pikachus. I hope I never run into that Pokemon in a dark alley.

Huh? A portal already? That was easy. I didn't even have to do anything. Oh, well, we'll see what I have to do next.

(A/N: Yes, I know I kind of breezed through these battles, but Adventure Mode is too long to describe everything in detail. Besides, these battles aren't really very interesting.)


	6. From Zero to Onett

Chapter 5: Zero to Onett

After stepping out of the portal, I find myself on…a track? Hmm. I hear cars' engines roaring in the background, and I'm on a track. This doesn't bode well.

I start running, and suddenly I get a weird sensation of warning in my head. Ignoring it, I am immediately attacked from behind. What-

Oh. That wasn't an attack. That was a swarm of cars running me over. Ow.

I slowly stand up, and start running. Soon, I see a platform. Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to jump onto the platform when I get the warning sensation. Maybe I should pay attention to it. I run some more, get the feeling, and jump, just in time to avoid the cars again. This isn't so hard…

Whoa! I spoke too soon. Paying too much attention to the warning sensation, I almost ran off a cliff…no, a jump. I jump onto the next platform too slowly, and cars pound me off the side of the target platform. I barely manage to Super Jump Punch up to the middle. This is really irritating.

Continuing on, I find another jump, this one longer. My warning sensation comes at exactly the wrong time, while I am in the air. I land just as the cars come past again, and I am unable to make it back this time. Down to 3 lives. 

Luckily, after this jump, it is just a straight run to the end. After that part is finally over, I find myself above the same track, facing down Captain Falcon. Oh yeah…racer…cars…I get it.

Falcon rushes at me with what must be his forward-b, because it doesn't look familiar. His flaming fist knocks me into the air, and he follows up with his dive thing. 

"Yes!" he shouts, as I fly away again. I jump back and swing my fist at him. It falls short, and I quickly spin my legs around to keep him away. As he flies backward, I just now notice that the track is moving. We're going along the track at about the same rate that the cars are. Weird.

Falcon's back, and he punches me continuously. Moving away, I swing my cape. Falcon starts punching in the wrong direction, and I smash him away. Now, I end up on the track, and cars are coming to get me again. I jump out of the way, but Falcon, who is just coming back, is not as lucky. He flies into the air, where I eagerly Super Jump Punch him. Falcon hits me with his Falcon Kick, which allows me to punch him away. This time, his dive isn't enough to bring him back. 

That was more annoying that I had thought. I don't think I've been giving the guy enough credit.

Well, out of the portal, I find myself in a familiar happy little town. The last time I was here, I had no idea who I was looking for. This time, he's looking to fight me…but there are three of him.

I believe this place is called Onett…and here come the Nesses.

I race forward to attack, but before I get to them I see an item fall from the sky in front of me. It's a-it's a-um…

Before I can react, a Ness throws the object at me. It hurts a little, but not too much. I grab it and throw it back. Then, I activate my Mario Tornado, catching all three. Suddenly, I get a familiar warning sensation. Before I can react, a Ness smacks me with his yo-yo, and all four of us immediately get hit by-a car! What is it with cars?

I recover more quickly than the Nesses, and chase after them eagerly. One is trying to do something he just called "PK Flash", but it's just a really slow green-

Ouch! It exploded!

I fly backwards into another Ness's bat, and bounce off of a building. I get the warning again just as the stupid Nesses follow me down. I jump at just the right moment, and the Nesses get floored. Unfortunately, the buildings are too high to kill any of them. I soon fix that, by smashing straight up, I get rid of one of the Nesses. The other two quickly gang up on me, both doing their PK Fire at once. Arrrgh.

Meanwhile, the only items I've been getting are those stupid-Mr. Saturn! That's right! I read about it. 

I smash down to keep the boys at bay while one tries to hit me with PK Thunder. I avoid it easily, and jump-kick him. I follow his path onto a tree and smash him away. One more to go. 

As I turn around, the last Ness has just picked up a Mr. Saturn. He throws it at me. Sigh. I run at him, but another Mr. Saturn stops my rush. Arrrgh. I reach out to grab him, and toss him against a wall, then quickly jump out of the way. The Ness gets hit by a truck, and is at dangerously high percentage now. Eager to capitalize on this, I Super Jump Punch him, sending him nearly to death, and a midair flip kick cinches my victory at last.

I'm not even going to bother wondering how I just fought three Nesses…I've found it's not worth it. I'm just going to go into this portal and see what-Brr…it's cold in here.

(A/N: People on this site really don't give Falcon enough credit. Just because of his weird-looking Falcon Dive, people make fun of him, but he's really very good. Just thought I'd point that out. Oh, and by the way, this chapter is somewhat short, but it would be way too long if I did Icicle Mountain too. And, just as a warning, the ending to this fic won't really be an ending per se…more like a cliffhanger, to be continued in my 5th fic. Think of my 5th fic as the next chapter to this one…except if I actually did that it would be too long.)


	7. Icy Demeanor

Chapter 6: Icy Demeanor

It's cold in here! I don't know where I am, but it's way too cold. I see snow, and dead trees, and…more snow. Let's see…who haven't I fought yet?

Oh…those Eskimos. Ha. No wonder.

I don't see them, though, but the mountain is scrolling slowly up. I get the hint, and follow it. As I jump higher, I see little…puffy things. I kick it, and it dies. This must be a bad guy to those Eskimos. Whatever. The area starts scrolling faster, and I see a polar bear…wearing shades and shorts? 

Before I can contemplate this further, the bear smacks me, sending me dangerously low. I quickly jump back up and kill the bear with two well-timed smashes. Soon, I see a little block of ice. I pick it up, and throw it at the next puff thing I see. Sure enough, it's an instant KO. That must be a Freezie. It could be useful.

The level is scrolling ever-faster…but I guess all this exercise is warming me up. I can't see where I'm jumping, though, and I'm taking continuous damage from these puffs and bears. This is not looking good…and now the level is moving ridiculously fast. I jump up…right into a bear. I fall down to quickly to recover, and I am now down to two lives. Hmm…I hope Master Hand hasn't gotten any harder (I assume that's who I'll be fighting at the end…)

The level slows dramatically as two, um, sets…of Eskimos appear. So I have to fight four people at once. How nice. 

They all charge me at once, swinging their hammers wildly. I punch and smash one and it dies, but three remain. Two of them expel ice from their hammers…or something…and it freezes me temporarily, but I recover quickly to Super Jump Punch them. The third comes up, unfortunately, and apparently smashes me with his hammer. I smash down, sending him away. Now it's down to two. One of them runs up with his hammer extended, and the other follows. I smash up, and he dies. The other one promptly disappears.

Huh?

Oh well, I'm not one to complain. A portal appears to take me to the next (and hopefully last) level.

Nope, it's not the last. I remember this level clearly…this is where I fought all those polygons. Sigh…I hated those polygons.

As my opponents start to appear, I am immediately surprised…they're not polygons! In fact, they look more like…generic wire frames. Oh boy. 

Anyway, Super Jump Punches work as well now as they did last time…maybe better. Enough of those, and this level is done. That was easy-

Wait. I'm not leaving.

I see a metal object flying through the sky, and it lands on the platform above me. Gee, it's Metal Mario. How original.

I jump up and Super Jump Punch. He smashes. I smash. He Tornadoes. I throw. He throws. I smash. He fireballs. I cape (ha!) I fireball. He runs and kicks. I down-smash, then up-smash, then Super Jump Punch, then jump punch. He dies.

Well, that was much easier. I take the portal to what I assume is the Final Destination at last.

Well, here I am on the familiar platform, facing down-Bowser? A big Bowser? That's the boss I've been fighting to reach? Where is Master Hand? How disappointing.

Bowser roars triumphantly. "Now I can finally destroy you, Mario!"

Oh, fine. Out of all of the characters, _he's _the one who chooses to talk. Sigh.

"You'll doa no sucha thing!" I retort, and smash him. He winds up to smash, but my cape swings out just in time. I grab him and spin him around (how nostalgic) and throw him behind me. Suddenly, a Home Run Bat falls from the sky.

There are items too? This is just too easy.

I quickly grab the bat, but Bowser is too uncooperative to let me home run him. First, he does his flamethrower, which is none too pleasant, and then he slashes me with his claws. That hurts. I'm getting mad. I smash up, but he slams down on me. I smash down, but he recovers quickly and smashes me up. This is getting painful.

"I told you, Mario! You're going down!"

"Never!" I retort. As if the pain in my body weren't bad enough, now my throat hurts. Sigh. It's time to end this battle.

I run up and punch him, then kick. I grab him and throw him up, then Super Jump Punch. He roars in anger and lands just in time to try to breathe fire on me. Reacting with speed I never knew I had, I swing my cape and then swing my bat. The combo works beautifully, and Bowser is instantly KO'd. Whew. If that was the boss, it wasn't nearly hard enough. It was somewhat gratifying though. I guess a portal should be appearing soon…I wonder what I win?

Whoa.

What the hell is _that?_

(A/N: Not much of a cliffhanger…most of you probably know exactly what now confronts Mario. In any case, the next chapter will be the last, so after that, stay tuned for my 5th fic!)


	8. The End and the Beginning

Chapter 7: The End and the Beginning

A large, trophy-like Bowser lands in front of me on the platform. What's going on here? I don't like the looks of this.

Suddenly, I hear an odd, evil laugh. That doesn't sound like Master Hand…

Before I can ponder further, the trophy is struck by lightning! It starts to crack open and…change.

The face shrinks, the body grows, and the trophy cracks open. The mutant's eyes glow menacingly.

Damn it. What is Master Hand thinking?

Bowser (I'm not sure what it is, but I'm calling it Bowser) flashes red and breaths fire on me. This fire is much more painful than regular Bowser's, but I fight my way through it and smash him. Bowser doesn't even seem to notice, and he grabs me. Hmm. This could be bad.

He throws me forward, then jumps up and slams on me. Ouch. I'm almost paralyzed in agony at this point, but I grab Bowser. I weakly toss him away, and run up to jump-punch him. Bowser doesn't like that idea, though, and slashes at me with his huge claws. I fly away, already being knocked off of the platform, and Super Jump Punch him on my way up. Bowser spins around in his shell, with me on top of the spikes. I fly into the air, and Bowser sort of jumps up, sending me farther up. I barely make it down, and punch Bowser to the ground. Just then, an item appears. Oh…this might not be too bad. I desperately run over to the party ball, and toss it at Bowser with all my might. Bowser actually falls off the stage, as the party ball starts flashing orange and playing music. When it opens, four Bob-ombs come out. This could work really well. Bowser climbs onto the platform and…Boom! Game over-

No, wait. Bowser got back up. That's ridiculous. He climbs up and headbutts me with all his might. That's it…I'm done for. Down to one life.

As I come down invincible, I smash him. As he flies away, I charge my up-smash, and just make it. I jump and flip kick, but Bowser slams down on me. I down smash from that position, and Bowser flies a fair distance. I stand by the edge and charge up my smash.

Bowser jumps, spins, spins some more, lands right next to me-

I release my smash just in time! Bowser flies away, and explodes! Hallelujah. How the hell did I do that?

More appropriately, what the hell did I just do? What was that thing?

I hear the crazy evil laugh again, and spin around trying to find its source. Seeing nothing, I wait for Master Hand to appear, and to explain what just happened.

"Congratulations, Mario." I finally hear, and turn around angrily.

"What was that?" I almost hiss, I'm so angry.

"To be honest, I have no idea."

"WHAT?"

"But I will explain everything else, once the others get here."

"Others? Didn't I beat them all?"

"Not exactly."

Oh boy…I can't wait to hear this. 

"Ah, here they are. How was your training?"

Training? How come everyone knows what's going on except me?

"Sorry, Mario. Allow me to fill you in."

"Thata would be nice." Is it just me, or does Master Hand not sound as evil anymore?

"Well, first of all, I obviously didn't die in the toy dimension. At the last second, I teleported away to the closest dimension. That turned out to be a bad idea, because that dimension is apparently ruled by a huge shadow monster, who ordered his minions to corrupt me and make me evil again. Apparently, he had done the same to Mistress and Ob."

Whoa. So they weren't really evil after all?

"So anyway, I managed to escape their corruption, but I had already organized a tournament to destroy you. At the last minute, I switched all of the others with alternate versions who didn't know you, and sent the _ real_ smashers off to train. It was too late to stop the tournament altogether though."

"I guess thata makes sense. Buta wait…what werea they training fora?"

"The war, Mario." Samus answers this time. "The war with the shadows."

Oh, lovely. Sounds like fun.

Before I can reply, I hear the same evil laughter that I heard when the mutant Bowser appeared and died.

"So thata wasn'ta you after alla!" I state. "But-"

Suddenly, another Master Hand appears! It is slightly off colored and surrounded by sparkles, but it looks the same.

"Whoa." Link remarks.

"Ha ha ha! Did you like my Giga Bowser, Mario! You'll be seeing him again! Ha ha ha!"

"Who are you?" Master Hand shouts authoritatively.

"Don't you recognize me, M.H.? I'm your interdimensional counterpart! Call me-"

Somehow, I hear a drumroll in the background. It must have something to do with this weirdo.

"Crazy Hand!"

With more maniacal laughter, Crazy Hand disappears.

"Well. That was odd." Fox remarks.

"No kidding." Zelda agrees.

"So, you'vea all beena training?" I choose to ignore the intruding appendage.

"Yeah, we were just fighting battles against each other in various places. It was fun." One of the Ice Climbers replied.

No wonder none of them were talking to me.

"So whata now?" I ask.

"Well, we should pick the real you up."

"Huh?"

"You're just the toy dimension version, like last time. When I change you back to a regular toy, the real Mario will get your memories. The other smashers are all real, though."

"Oh…so I'lla go back witha John? Is hea here?"

"Yes, he and his friends were the crowd again."

"I didn'ta even noticea them." 

The others sort of laughed. I guess I was just too used to it.

"Anyway, after that, we'll go to other people's dimensions. Some of them have ideas of friends they want to bring into the war."

"Wella, wait. What abouta Crazy Hand?" I ask, trying desperately not to enter a war. "We can'ta just ignorea him anda Giga Bowser."

"Hmm, you're right." Master Hand stops to think.

"We'll just have to do both. Mistress, Ob, and Juvenor were all killed because of these shadows. We need to avenge them." Fox points out gravely.

"Yeah!" Falcon agrees. Grinning, he added, "Besides, how hard could another Master Hand be?"

"Hey!" Master Hand shouts. We all laugh.

"Well, Mario, you can go back with John now." Master Hand shouts. "Let the war begin!"

(A/N: Like I said, this isn't much of an ending (hence the chapter title). So, wait a few days, and my 5th fic will continue where this left off. Also, the part where the others are training serves to explain most of Classic Mode, and even some of the more sensible events! )


End file.
